I’m so sick of you, yes you, constantly on my back telling me what to do and when to do it. I’m sick of your bullshit and NO ONE LIKES YOU. If it wasn’t for you you you, I could still be stress free. YOU’RE A CONTROL FREAK AND SERIOUSLY, EVEN THE PEOPLE IN OUR GROUP DON’T LIKE YOU. SO STOP BEING A CONTROL FREAK. LOSER.
These past two days have been about peer support training. To be honest, it was a big
bludge. However, it was also a day where SRC and Sports Captain were “nominated”.
I wanted to nominate myself for SRC but like, I won’t have a chance. We’re talking about the Filo group here. Like, no matter what school you’re in, it’s always, and I’m saying, always going to be a popularity contest, regardless of what the teacher says. Anyway, today wasn’t as bad as yesterday. Yesterday was just horrible. Today I had a D&M (deep and meaningful) conversation with Chinn. It was nice. Really.
I want to move schools. This school has so many rules that nothing makes sense anymore. They probably contradict each other. Like, screw you. Geez.
Every one sucks. The school sucks. Someone buy me some cyanide.
Don’t look down on me. Don’t look at me. Don’t talk to me. Don’t pay attention to me.
After all, I’m a nobody. Right?
Well, Moon Fest was on Sunday. All I did was roam around. Jo called me at 2 and I left. The whole festival was okay, I hate how some people looked down at me and at this person. People are different. Don’t be fucking ignorant pricks. I hated the whole time. I hate. I hate. I hate. Today I hated even more. Today I felt like shit. Today I was shit. I was ignored and no one cared, I paid for something and I got half of what it was worth. Today my computer fucked up. Today I died a little more inside. Today I felt like I was worth nothing. Today I felt unwanted. Today I felt like I was invisible. Today I wanted to crawl up and die. Today I wanted to change. Today I wanted to be someone else. Today I was confused. Today I felt angry. Today I wanted to rebel. Today I wanted, more than anything, to just wither. Wither to nothing, wither to death. I want to be different. I want to change, I don’t want to be me. Sometimes I just
want to someone else.
Sometimes I just want to be dead.
At the moment, I’m watching Hana Yori Dango, which is the best damn series ever. Oguri Shun is so hot T^T, he makes my heart jump three million times per second. 
At the moment, Shigeru is the fiance to Domyouji and she’s like, pushing herself onto Domyouji! I WAS GOING TO CRY WHEN SHIGERU AND DOMYOUJI KISSED AND MAKINO WITNESSED IT ALL! The mother is SUCH A BITCH. Nonetheless, I will still love the series. My aim: To buy Hana Yori Dango AND Hana Yori Dango Returns.
ALSO, MY AMBITION: Buy Hana Kimi (jap version) BECAUSE Oguri Shun is in it. T^T.
My other ambition: watch Nobuta Wo Produce.
I really hope the series turn out good! Its already good, and its sad because Domyouji wanted to get serious with Makino but dumb dumb Happy chap Shigeru went nuts :(
I need a job. *Tear
Oh bollocks, happy four months your faggot. I love youuu :3. Well anyway, this week has been a tidal wave of work and tiredness. Moon fest is coming up, I’m going to go nuts. I’ll wear crazy clothes and try to buy as much shit for my room as possible. Like, that little ghost thing that bitch Hung has in his room.
That bitch (not Hung) is pissing me off, seriously. I’d like to get a gun and…shoot myself. God, she’s so annoying. I should tell her, but then she’d lay a guilt trip on me. Suck my balls.
At the moment I’m watching Hana Yori Dango, its so cute! Even though the actors are
dead ugly, but nonetheless, the show is cute. Cute like a cute .. thing. Shut up.
I have a whole heap of stuff to do before Monday, God I’m going to blow my brains out.
The school has made up yet another useless and annoying law of the universe. We’re not allowed to cross Bigge Street. Stupid stupid people. They should shoot themselves in the mouth before I do it. Like Oh my god ya mum. Dumbasses.
Ahh, Jay Chou is so awesome. He makes me drool. Someone buy me a router so I can use my new (old) laptop. I need it. JAAAAAY CHOOOOUUUUU -love-
I am Romancer and I am Almighty. Like Britney Spears. I am teh Lulz.
I am Vivian, Bring me the Horizon.
I need to study and do many things. How bothersome.
Filed under: Uncategorized
Happy Birthday Joanna! Have fun at camp 
.
Filed under: Crappy Days
Someone save me from the dark pits of hell. Please. Please?…
Filed under: Life in General
Bahaha, today Caritas + Aikenhead went to the Museum of Human Diseases. My god, I really really reaaaally want to go to the University of New South Wales. MY GOD. IT WAS LIKE, SO FREAKING AWESOME. Pwoah! ANYWAY, I woke up this morning and was kinda late. LOL, but it was okay. Got to school and like, mingled with my fellow buddddies.
SIDE NOTE: VOTE BEN BEN BEN: 191010! DO IT DO IT DO IT. Thankyou. :]
ANYWAY, got to the museum and blah blah, there was a preserved penis @ the musem. LOL. The whole place was really awesome, so many diseases and those organs were REAL organs from REAL people who had REAL diseases.
Don’t smoke, and you won’t rot your lungs.
Don’t drink and you won’t kill your liver.
Take care of yourselves you stupid jackasses.
I want, sushi. Please. :]
When I look upon the pages of the people I once knew, I think “Wasn’t I once important in your life?” Then it hits me, I was, but I’m not anymore. ”Move on please…” It’s so hard. I hate that constant and nagging feeling of rejection. I can’t move on because my mind can only linger in the past wondering What the hell, when did I become forgotten? When was I replaced? I think its just me who’s just oblivious. I should walk away now. So I walk, and when I look back, replaced.
Me, Vivian. Broken down, fixed up. Broken again, fixed again. Broken the third time, fixed the third time.
Vivian. Broken, gone.
Run, thats what I want to do. If I could, I’d take everything thats important to me now, and run. I’d go places, see the world, escape reality. Problem is, I can’t escape reality because all I can do it stare at it in the face, then go run and hide, where I can cry, hurt myself, blame myself, blame everyone else, then wither to death.
Left alone, left behind. Everyone else has a new chapter in their life, I’m still on the same page. I’m cold. I’m like a train in a dark tunnel. I can’t see the fucking light.
I don’t like how, everything I do, I remember. Then I go home and criticise myself to the point where everything I do is bad, everything I do is a sin. I’m nobody, and nobody is I. I died, a long long time ago. No one had time, or the effort to care. I’m just, that temporary person, who’ll hang around, maybe for a year. Just until that someone can find someone else better. Then I’m gone. Back to my hole, back to my lonliness.
Goodnight world, I hope I never wake up.
I want a sandwich.
