I’m not a perfect human being. I despise perfection (yes, contradicting my earlier blog entry). If possible I am the worst human being on Earth. Probably worse than Pol Pot/Hitler because like them I lack compassion, kindness and have a sick kind of twisted happiness. Or more so. I hurt people and the people I’m nice to now, will probably be hurt in the future. I lead a sick and twisted lifestyle. Perhaps this is what crazy dictators went through before they went psyhcocrazy on a large scale on people. I don’t care about my family. I don’t care enough I suppose. “Oh I’m suffering, Oh this is a real tragedy for me” Get real. You’re like this only because you were so horrible to begin with. You think of no one but yourself. Yes I, me, yes I’m sick too, but I still stand by as a “nurse” because if I leave, you chuck a fucking crazy on me. I can’t take anymore of this, and people wonder why I go through such crazy phases where I decided to do things to myself. Yes yes I know, I’m selfish too. But you go way past the selfish stage. You think that the other family will help you. Well where are they now? Yeh thats right you idiot. Its called Karma. Deal with it.
In a matter of time I will self destruct. In a matter of time I will dissappear into a vortex of nothing. Perhaps become as twisted as a vortex. I’m feeling delirious. Perhaps I should get some sleep.
Fucking asshole.
